Dear We Are Teachers,
I dread Valentine’s Day for many reasons as a middle school teacher, but among them is my school’s horrible Valentine Gram PTO fundraiser. It’s essentially a candygram system, but with levels that range from a $2 candy bar or lollipop all the way up to a $20 teddy bear with … wait for it … balloons. Not only do the actual items cause classroom disruptions, but every year I have students in tears due to the politics of this system. Teachers have complained for years but our principal refuses to stand up to the PTO. What can we do to get rid of this nightmare?
—Love Hurts
Dear L.H.,
I physically shuddered when you mentioned the balloons. Those squeaky latex ones should be illegal everywhere, but that’s a soapbox for a different day.
It’s probably too late to make any changes to this year’s Valentine’s Day fundraiser. But now’s a great time to start the conversation about how to revisit this fundraiser for next year. I do think it’s going to require some muscle on your part in establishing some stronger connections with the PTO to have teachers included in the feedback/planning process. To me, it sounds like they rely on a yearly fundraiser without much teacher input. Maybe they’ve been desperate for teacher help/input! From their perspective at the candygram table, they probably don’t realize how this fundraiser then becomes a house of horrors inside the classroom.
Tread lightly, though. Enter the conversation with curiosity and empathy, not a “I’m here to shut this party down” attitude. Ask questions instead of making accusations. Gather real data, suggestions, and real-time observations on this year’s fundraiser via surveys instead of painting with a broad brush. Be open to feedback yourself.
Finally, remember that while it’s easy to get caught up in the frustration centered around kids, the PTO really has the same goals you do. You’re on the same team (literally, a parent-teacher organization). My husband and I remind each other of this when our toddler threatens our patience and rationality stores. “Same team, man. Same team.”
Dear We Are Teachers,
Talk of immigration raids have made my 2nd grade classroom a nightmare. Half of my students are afraid for themselves and their classmates. A handful of my students are going around telling other students that they or their families are going to get deported. We have guidance from our district on how to handle if ICE shows up, but no info on how to handle this VERY sensitive topic in the classroom that’s causing obvious distress. What do you recommend?
—What Do We Tell the Kids?
Dear W.D.W.T.T.K.,
Right now, before the end of the day, request guidance on how to handle this from your principal in writing. Be very specific, including quotations (but not student names) to show exactly what kind of situations you’re dealing with. I’m an adult with a fully formed frontal lobe and the “what-ifs” are freaking me out. I can’t imagine how kids are feeling.
But in the meantime, say this in class: “I am hearing a lot of talk about people getting deported. For now, I need you to know two things: 1. There is a lot of guessing and confusing information being shared right now as if it’s true. It’s not. So until we know more, we’re not talking about it at school. 2. My first job as a teacher is to keep you safe. Every adult who works here—our principal, librarian, nurse—will work together to keep you safe. If you feel scared at any time, talk to me.” Hopefully that helps until you have some better messaging from your principal and/or district.
Dear We Are Teachers,
We got a new principal over break and went from “jolly, beloved grandfatherly leader”-type to “micromanager extraordinaire”-type overnight. Here are some things the new principal has implemented in the first month alone:
-Sending emails to staff members who are late to meetings, even just by a minute or two
-Sending a whole-school email every morning listing any teacher who has called in absent
-Having every teacher physically sign in at a binder at the front desk every morning and making us use the front entrance despite our campus’ huge size
I’m one of the more experienced teachers at our school. I’m starting to wonder if I should meet with the new principal and give her the feedback on how she’s being perceived. I’d want to know! What are your thoughts?
—Whoa There, Nellie
Dear W.T.N.,
These kinds of changes would feel like a shock to the system. Especially considering the Werther’s-distributing, grandfatherly type of leader you had before.
But I’m here to tell you: These changes are all pretty standard practice at most schools. Using one common entrance is an important safety protocol, not a management tactic. Plus, I’d guess the central hiring committee may have told your principal that things needed to tighten up a bit at that school.
My advice is to give it some time. If it turns out she is a power-hungry authoritarian, you’ll want to stay off her radar as much as possible. But if it turns out she’s a good principal just trying to do her job, she’ll probably appreciate some grace her second month there.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m in my fourth year of teaching middle school, and I’ve noticed that every January-March, I feel like there’s no way I can take it anymore. It’s the same song and dance: I have to practically drag myself to work, I spend my breaks job hunting, and I’m sure I can’t take another year. But miraculously, April hits and I’m fine again. What is this sorcery? And how can I combat it this year?
—Hopeless in Hartford