Ahh, parent-teacher conferences. Stringing those two words together can bring up a variety of emotions, from anxiety to annoyance and everything in between. As a first-year teacher, I sought to fight anxiety about my first round of parent conferences by overpreparing. In particular, I focused on conferences for the students I was concerned about. I was ready for the parents of my students with IEPs and 504s. I had tactful ways to share my concerns about behavioral challenges, and those who struggled with tardiness and attendance. My imagination danced with visions of collaborative discussions building toward strategies for a successful year.
Then, just a few nights before conferences, I got the list of parents who signed up for meetings. The parents I was prepared to meet with were sprinkled throughout the list. However, the vast majority were names I hadn’t expected to see. These were the parents of kids who showed up on time and prepared, completed their work, and participated respectfully. What would we have to talk about? Would I just spend the conference slot telling parents how great their kid was?
As my career has progressed, I’ve learned these conferences are not an anomaly. In my experience teaching middle school, I have come to expect parents of high-achieving students on the conference list. Further, I’ve learned that this is a source of frustration for some teachers. I’ve heard from several educators who feel their time is wasted by staying after hours to sing the praises of already successful students. However, these meetings aren’t going anywhere, and they deserve the same attention I reserve for the students I’m concerned about. Not to mention, when you go in with a solid plan, they can be informative and enjoyable!
What are you doing here, anyway?
First and foremost, I had to understand why these parents were on the conference list. It soon became clear that parents come to parent-teacher conferences out of a genuine desire to meet the adults they are entrusting their child to for the next nine months. If you’re a parent yourself, this is likely a major “Duh!” But to first-year teacher Amy, the idea that parents literally just wanted to meet me? Absurd … and terrifying.
However, this meeting is important to parents. It’s also important to the high-achieving students! These kiddos are often excited to share their experiences at school and want parents to know who they’re talking about when they discuss their teachers. For many of my students’ parents, this was their first experience having a middle schooler. Conferences provided them a valuable opportunity to see the space where their students were spending their days. They also provide a reminder about each classroom’s individual routines and policies. This is especially valuable to parents transitioning from a single-classroom teacher, in a time when they are already bombarded with new information.
Filling the time
OK, OK, this makes a ton of sense, and maybe you’ve even done this as a parent. However, putting a face to a name won’t fill a 15-minute conference slot. “We just wanted to meet so-and-so’s science teacher!” quickly became one of the most dreaded phrases for me in the first moments of a conference.
So, now that I understood this first reason of why the parents of these high-achieving students were here, how do I fill the time (and minimize impending awkward silences)? Since that first year, I’ve developed four strategies that have helped make these conferences productive and enjoyable.
Strategy 1: Ask about the child as a person, not a student.
The most important thing I do at the start of any conference is ask parents how their child is doing outside of my class. A couple important checkpoints include how they’re doing socially at school, how they feel about their day when they get home, and if there are any stressors beyond my class I should be aware of. I quickly realized that just because I didn’t have a concern, that didn’t mean everything was hunky-dory in the student’s life. High-achieving students can be particularly skilled at masking their emotions and concealing struggles. This makes it all the more important to check in with their adults.
Several times, I learned that students who came to school with beautifully completed work had labored for hours. Other times, the student was brought to tears by that same assignment the night before. This lead to valuable conversations about how to help students manage the increased workload of middle school. It also helped me have conversations with students about strategies they could use to approach stressful situations. On other occasions, parents shared concerns unrelated to classroom matters. These included impending divorce, illness in the family, or an upcoming move. Even if I wasn’t seeing the effects of these changes in the classroom, they provided me valuable information to keep in mind when interacting with this student.
Strategy 2: Be prepared with data.
Sometimes discussing other factors at play in a student’s life can fill the meeting. But for the parents who cheerfully say, “they love coming to school, everything is great!” you’re going to need something else. With this in mind, I print out a summary of the student’s grades from my school’s LMS ahead of each conference. I’ve done this using both PowerSchool and Infinite Campus, but other LMS platforms offer the option as well.
Having this data available allows both parties to take a closer look at the student and better understand their success. Depending on how you’ve set up your grading system, this can provide some valuable insights. Jane might be hanging on to her A in your class because she always does her homework and gets all of the participation points, but her performance on tests is less than stellar. This is a great opportunity to discuss testing anxiety and study strategies, or see if this has happened in previous school years. (And as an aside, it may also be a clue you should consider revising your grading policy!)
Strategy 3: Share work samples.
Once you’ve taken a closer look at a student’s data, it is helpful to see if their work can offer any clues to the trends you’re seeing. My favorite way to do this is to have a selection of work samples ready for parents to look through. Because I implement a binder system for organizing student work, this isn’t as time-consuming as it might sound. I simply pull the binders for the parents I know I’ll be meeting with. Then, I stack them in order of my meetings. I always make a point to tell parents I haven’t altered anything about the binder. Thus, what they see is a reflection of their student’s organizational abilities.
In addition to providing a peek at the academic content their students are learning, parents can take pride in their students’ quality of work. It may also explain something that came up in looking at their grades. In Jane’s case, her binder might reveal that she always has homework ready to be checked for completion, but her answers are incorrect. And for the odd high-achieving student who struggles with organization? This is a great way to start a conversation about strategies that can help students maintain their success as workload increases.
Strategy 4: Prepare specific compliments.
If you’ve used strategies one through three and still have time on the clock, it’s great to have a couple specific compliments or positive anecdotes to share. Remember, you’re likely talking to parents who are used to hearing that they have a “great kid” who is “a pleasure to have in class.” This sounds nice, but it doesn’t show that you’ve taken the time to learn about their student as an individual. It means so much more to say “Corey asked a thought-provoking question during our discussion the other day! His contribution made our class’ conversation much deeper.”
It’s also nice to acknowledge a student’s strengths beyond academics. Hearing about how their child takes on a leadership role in group work or helps clean up after class shows that you value them beyond their academic success. Bonus points if you can share a positive story from the hallway or cafeteria, places that lure even the best students into making poor decisions!
Now you’re ready to rock ALL your conferences!
With these four strategies, you’ll have plenty to fill the time when meeting with the parents of high-achieving students. Not to mention, you’ll impress parents by showing how much you care about their child as an individual.